Life Update via Lists of Things and Some Short Stories

                                           11/16/13 Snowy morning in Pocatello


It's been another one of those magical couple of weeks. I seem to have been blessed with many of these lately. The highlight? Waking up to snow at 6:30 am on Saturday morning to snow!!! I've finally gotten into the swing of waking early and it's amazing!

Why I Wake Early

Hello, sun in my face.

Hello, you who make the morning

and spread it over the fields 

and into the faces of the tulips

and the nodding morning glories,

and into the windows of, even, the 

miserable and the crochety--

best preacher that ever was,

dear star, that just happens 

to be where you are in the universe

to keep us from ever-darkness,

to ease us with warm touching,

to hold us in the great hands of light--

good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day

in happiness, in kindness.

-Mary Oliver

 
Below you will find lists of things.

Highlights from school last week:

1. Loud, adorable 3rd graders sitting fascinated by Encyclopedia online's science section.
2. Helping children resolve disagreements.
3. Watching them try to do math, read, or write. The joy of learning!
4. Having a headache at the end of the day, but still loving everything that happened.
5. Two words: First graders. Love them!
6. Explaining how fish lay eggs in the gravel in streams just like birds lay eggs in their nests. They were     shocked! I think it was my absolute favorite part of the week.
7. Why do ducks' roofs leak in the spring rain? Because they have a lot of quacks in them! Thank you 1st grade reading book, thank you.
8. Kiddo huggos.
9. Excitement about learning! Love.
10. Oh ya, and pictures drawn by students who apparently liked me a little.

                                               11/18/13 2nd Grade Presents

Highlights from my personal life:

1. I have been sleeping more usually.. Yay! And it's easier to wake up early. Yay!

2. Budgeting is a disaster with Christmas, but it will all be OK, right? Still haven't gotten my first pay check from a month ago from the school district.... so that complicates things, grrr.

3. Drinking.... ehhhh. Smaller amount frequency the same. It's OK!

4. Eating so well. Oatmeal, spinach, smoothies, juice, whole grain muffins, dried fruit, bananas, bliss. 

5. Reiki. My friend Daphne just started practicing and gave me a free session. Thai light touch healing. Best thing ever.

6. Yoga. Spinning. Love.

7. Getting the swing of discipline in the classroom and substitute teaching in general. The reward system and sticking to strict rules are the key. 

Things I never thought I would do or enjoy:

1. Dressing up for work. Turns out looking nice makes me feel confident and sexy. So that's nice!

2. Buying a gym membership. So worth the $35 a month for spinning, yoga, and weights when it's too cold to exercise outside (save for skiing of course).

3. Moving home post graduation. NEVER would have expected that choice 4 years ago. Oh how things and perspectives change. 

4. Wearing make-up (sometimes and in small amounts) and painting my nails. Embracing my girly-ness feels good... sometimes!

5.  I honestly never thought I would end up teaching after graduation. But it might be one of the best decisions I have ever made. 

Things in the near and far future I am STOKED about:

1. Working as a ski and snowboard instructor at Pebble Creek Ski Area. Dream job = being outside, skiing, and teaching. 

2. Visiting Bellingham. There are so many people there whom I still hold so close to my heart despite the physical distance... I can't wait to hug, play, and eat with them all! 

3. Thanksgiving and Christmas! I love the holidays! I love giving gifts, gratitude, family, and food. 

4. Skiing in general. After skiing in Montana a few weeks ago, it's been hard to think about anything else. I will get some in while I'm in Washington which will be just swell.

5. Hiking the Pacific Crest Trail next year. I still have SO much to do between now and then especially the difficult task of saving enough money.. which has proven harder than anticipated... the bars are so tempting after a long day of teaching!

6. Potentially and probably teaching English in Thailand in the next couple years with a good friend's non-profit organization!

So, enough lists for now. Although I do love them so, so much. 

Here's a little about my day:

Today, with second graders we started the day with a list of rules for the day on the board. They are as follows: 1. Respect yourselves and me. 2. Have fun learning! (I got excitement and groans from this one.) 3. Be kind. I think this strategy really helped because from the get go we were all on the same page as far as expectations go. The kids were so sweet. Although I didn't receive any drawings from the students today, I did one for myself with some wonderful Crayola crayons. Here it is:

                                               11/19/13 A Picture for Me

I do love teaching. I feel as though it is what I am meant to do with my life... problem is, I feel the same about science. The trick will be figuring out how best to combine the two or deciding which one to pursue first! I'll figure it out in time I guess. The best things take time. A good friend taught me that in high school and I will never forget it.

Well, now that I have bored you all to death with the details of my life recently, it is time for me to go play some guitar and hopefully take a little nappy nap before spinning and my ski instructor class this evening!

Thanks for reading! Pray for snow!

LivE.

PS- this link is so going to be me at 40! Hahaha.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-10631/so-im-single-40-and-childless-now-what.html

Powder: Montana Backcountry

Today I spent a lot of time in church. And by church I mean the mountains, in the snow, on some skis. I'm visiting my friends in Bozeman, Montana right now and I couldn't be having a better time.

I left Pocatello yesterday at 8:30 am-ish bound for beautiful Bozeman. I didn't find Christoph and Jordo at the climbing area until 3:30 pm-ish. I got lost on a zillion dirt Forest Service roads raging through the dust in my Subaru. It was beautiful and meditative in a weird sort of get-the-rage-out sort of way. Once I finally discovered those kids' whereabouts, I bouldered a couple of sweet problems on sticky, spiny granite. Super duper. I met their new housemates who are both awesome boys.

Today, we left the house at 10:30 am bound for the Fairy Basin backcountry to do some skiing. Jordo was kind enough to let me use his rock teles, boots, skins, beacon, and pants. What a doll. He even had to snowboard because of it! His gear worked perfectly for me; it was a miracle. The hiking was hard. I haven't hiked that much in a long while and skiing on a few windblown slopes made my runs less than graceful. Throughout the day I nearly hit 60 rocks, trees, and anything else that decided to jump out of the woodwork and attack me. I loved it all. We had two telers, two downhillers, and two snowboarders. Perfection. The day was gorgeous; there were amazingly stratified cliffs on the other side of our valley, peeks of sun through the grey clouds all day, and soft, soft snow. We hit a lovely north facing slope that yielded some great fluffy powdery snow for our second of three runs. I knew when the soft sun was hitting the peaks all around us through a gap in the clouds that I was meant to be here. I will move here next fall and I will love it.

Now we are home enjoying a quiet fire and each others company. There is chili in the crock pot, corn bread in the oven, and mulled wine on the stove. Jordo is making a smoothie. We are going to play some music and our long lost Poky friend, Abby, is on her way over. Life is so good.

Tomorrow, I am going to campus to talk to the researchers in the Ecology department and convince them to fund my graduate school work! I want to study stream ecology and riparian restoration. And I will. Here. Soon. After hiking the PCT and being a ski bum for a year that is.  I will leave Bozeman at 1 ish tomorrow to be home for a meeting then my snowboard instructor class! The morning will include chilling at a coffee shop, book hunting, window shopping, and walking around campus. I can't wait!

Ok, good night my lovely readers!

-LivE.

    Ross Peak, May 2011
    Photographer: Jordan Allen

Best day ever.

THE PEACE OF WILD THINGS

When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things 

who do not tax their lives with forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

— Wendell Berry

I love you Dottie. <3

Courage, Faith, Dreams, Feelings, Mistakes, Love

   Scout Mountain. Pocatello, ID 10/6/13

Courage: noun. 1. mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

                       2. the ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous

Faith: noun. 1. strong belief or trust in someone or something

                  2. belief in the existence of God: strong religious feelings or beliefs

                  3. a system of religious beliefs

Dreams: noun. 1. a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep

                      2. an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream

                           a. a visionary creation of the imagination

                           b. a state of mind marked by abstraction or release from reality

                           c. an object seen in a dreamlike state

                      3. something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality

                      4. a. a strongly desired goal or purpose

                          b. something that fully satisfies a wish

Feelings: noun. 1. an awareness by your body of something in it or on it

                       2. an emotional state or reaction

                       3. thoughts of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in trouble, etc.

Mistakes: noun. 1. to blunder in the choice of

                        2. a. to misunderstand the meaning or intention of

                            b. to make a wrong judgement of the character or ability of

                        3. to identify wrongly: confuse with another

Love: noun. 1. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties

                  2. attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers

                  3. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests

                  4. warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion

                  5. a. unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: the fatherly concern of God for                

                          humankind; brotherly concern for others

                      b. a person's adoration of God

                  6. a god or personification of love

                  7. an amorous episode

                  8. the sexual embrace

                  9. a score of zero (as in tennis)

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary

On this day of your life, Olivia, I believe God wants you to know...

...that your inner goodness is going to carry the day.

I know that you know what a good person you are.

Yes, we all make mistakes, but when everything is said

and done, you are a genuinely good person...and you

know it.

So here's what you should be told: God knows it, too.

Trust that your inner goodness will rule this moment...

Love, Your Friend....

I am a huge fan of Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations with God series. I would recommend his books to anyone who considers themselves to believe in something bigger and more divine than us. And even if you don't, it's an interesting read. Personally, I do not consider myself to be a religious person. I prefer to learn from different faiths and choose the little pieces to believe that truly resonate with my inner being. I consider myself to be spiritual. Every day, I receive inspiring words from Mr. Walsch via email that always put a smile on my face and give me strength in the truths they hold. Some days I get tears because the words fit my current day, emotions, and experiences. Today has been one of those days.

I just read the quote from above. I am a forgetful person and I consistently become frustrated and angry with myself because of it. I also make mistakes, poor decisions, and struggle with never knowing if what I'm doing really matters in this wide world. For this reason, these words soothed all of this perpetual anxiety and fear leaving me feeling full of faith and comfort. What a wonderful change. The power of words is a beautiful thing and definitely an important component of my spirituality. 

One of the most important things I have ever learned is the necessity of having inspiring people to look up to in life and draw support from. I am blessed to have many of these people. My entire family is inspiring to me in different ways. My friends are all incredible people who I would be lost without. I truly believe you can find inspiration and lessons in any person in the world or any interaction with plants, animals, or rocks! Because the only thing that matters is what reality, what truths you want to create for yourself. Never forget that no matter who or what you find love or strength in, you are still your own person. You are in charge of your own life. You create your experiences, what they are or aren't, with the choices you make every day. Do not take this lightly. Embrace your choices, whether you feel they are wise or foolish, learn from them, and make change how you see fit. 

That being said, one of the women I look up to most whom I have never met is Brene Brown. I was first introduced to her incredible, amazing, inspired work by my counselor this spring. And I watch her TedTalks frequently. I think she is wise and strong. I feel that her work embodies many of my own truths, thoughts, beliefs, and moments. I would encourage you to listen to her talks if you wish: The Power of Vulnerability and Listening to Shame. Her words are beautiful and I love the way she delivers her stories. 

Last night I had a wonderful dream in which I experienced that 'good butterflies in your stomach overwhelming feeling' more intensely than I ever had before. It felt better than anything I have experienced in a long while. Pure euphoria. And it all took place in a dream, in my subconscious. I believe that the dreams we have while we sleep are bigger than we will ever know. I believe that often they are manifestations of what deep down we know we need, but are not willing to give ourselves or think we do not deserve in our waking hours. Forgiveness, joy, love, inspiration. These are what dreams are made of, both our waking, conscious and our sleeping, subconscious dreams. Dreams are important to me because often all I can recall when I wake from a dream is how I felt in the dream, the emotions I experienced. When we are awake, emotions are triggered by our thoughts, the things we see, and how we interpret it all inside our brains. Almost completely influenced by our surroundings and processed in our own way. When I am in a dream, all of these things are inside me, created by me. The emotions I feel in a dream evolve inside of me similarly to how waking emotions evolve and yet, they are somehow inexplicably different. I can't remember all of the physical details, but the emotions, how I felt throughout the dream, are the strongest pieces that linger with me when I open my eyes to 'the real world'. I experience raw emotions not tied to anything I have seen, heard, or thought. I find that inspiring. It makes me believe that everything you have heard is, in fact, true about creating your own reality and feeling the way you want whenever you want.

So today, I am feeling courageous, I have faith and dreams, and I am experiencing and radiating love. I am sharing forgiveness and acceptance with myself and others. All because I choose to. It feels incredible. 

To quote Jude in the fantastic film Across the Universe, "Well, surely it's not what you do, but the, uh... the way that you do it." I, you, everyone, deep down at their core, is a good person no matter what and I know it. And that feels powerful.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

-Nelson Mandela

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

-Mother Teresa

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.

-Henry David Thoreau

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out.    

-Stephen King

Before the throne of the Almighty, man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions. For God alone reads our hearts.

-Mahatma Gandhi 

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.

-Oscar Wilde

                                          Aspen resting on changing leaves. City Creek Trail, Pocatello, ID 10/4/13

Listen to Sarah Jarosz sing Bob Dylan's 'Simple Twist of Fate'.

Thanks,

LivE.

On Hangovers (and how to embrace that floppy carrot experience..)

Tequila makes me take my clothes off. It's true and I hate it. Because I love tequila. But tequila does not love me. In fact, it has a die hard lifelong ultra serious vendetta against me. I don't know what I ever did to make it hate me so much, but it does.

Last night I only anticipated having one beer with my girlfriend at a cool little bar in town. That is not what I did. We got DRUNK. Four shots of tequila later and I was flirting with anything that had a face and apparently thought smoking a cigarette would be a good idea. It wasn't. But, what the hell. YOLO, right?

Needless to say I woke up with an enormous headache despite the darkness beneath my covers. Emerging from my bed was like a butterfly exiting its cocoon except it hurt like hell and I couldn't fly afterward. After taking a 40 minute shower, brushing my teeth 60 times, and scrubbing every last inch of myself over and over, I ate cold bacon.

To the Pocatello Community Food Co-op I drove to volunteer my pressure washer skills for a couple hours. This was awesome. I listened to Lana Del Rey sing it out while wreaking havoc on them paint chips. Then I bought three pairs of Mountain Hardware shorts for $18. Right??

Food. Goody's. Pizza bomb. Sausage. Cheetos. WATER.

Here's the best part of the story. Once I got over the fact that I was hung over and I was going to be hung over all day, it was actually kind of fun to be hung over. Every moment became strikingly beautiful or exceedingly touching. It was weird. But awesome. A man playing basketball with his son, people riding bikes, high schoolers hanging out by their cars, a smile from a stranger all became monumental occasions that received a dorky "awww" from me.

So as I was driving home in the sunshine after having spent $80 on trekking poles, bite indicators, X-mas presents, and Aquaseal at Ace Hardware I had this epiphany. No matter where you are or what's happening, your ability to deal with the situation becomes incredibly more simple if you first take the time to accept what is happening and pull in a breath.

It's amazing. Trust me. Embrace your floppy carrotness and you will land amongst the stars!

Listen and watch Lana Del Rey sing National Anthem. 

Simple Elegance

Photo: Taken on City Creek trail near Kinport Peak in June 2013 with a Sony NEX-5N digital camera. 

Sego lily
Calochortus nuttallii

The Sego lily is a wildflower native to the Rocky Mountain west. It can be found on dry, well drained soils in Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Colorado, North and South Dakota, and Nebraska. The Sego lily grows in full sun from a bulb reminiscent of a small wild onion. The flowers display white petals with mustard yellow and scarlet red markings in the center. They grow 10-20 inches tall with unbranched stems.

The Ute indians referred to it as "sago" and instructed Mormon settlers to eat the bulbs when food was scarce. In 1911, the Sego lily was approved as the state flower of Utah after suggestion by a statewide poll of school children.

This flower has become one of my favorites over the past few months. It is not overly showy and you often have to search between sagebrush, lupines, and paintbrush to spot the inconspicuous, elegant white petals. And when I do find one or a small community, I feel soothed at the simple sight of this simply beautiful flower.


Sources:

http://pioneer.utah.gov/research/utah_symbols/flower.html
http://www.wildflower.org/plants/result.php?id_plant=CANU3

Again

A-gain

adverb

1. once more; another time; anew; in addition: Will you spell your name again, please?

2. in an additional case or instance; moreover; besides; furthermore.

3. on the other hand: It might happen, and again it might not.

4. back; in return; in reply: to answer again.

5. to the same place or person: to return again.

(dictionary.com)

Listen to Dancing Again by Forest Sun:

http://www.rhapsody.com/artist/forest-sun/album/dancing-again/track/dancing-again