Courage, Faith, Dreams, Feelings, Mistakes, Love

   Scout Mountain. Pocatello, ID 10/6/13

Courage: noun. 1. mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

                       2. the ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous

Faith: noun. 1. strong belief or trust in someone or something

                  2. belief in the existence of God: strong religious feelings or beliefs

                  3. a system of religious beliefs

Dreams: noun. 1. a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep

                      2. an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream

                           a. a visionary creation of the imagination

                           b. a state of mind marked by abstraction or release from reality

                           c. an object seen in a dreamlike state

                      3. something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality

                      4. a. a strongly desired goal or purpose

                          b. something that fully satisfies a wish

Feelings: noun. 1. an awareness by your body of something in it or on it

                       2. an emotional state or reaction

                       3. thoughts of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in trouble, etc.

Mistakes: noun. 1. to blunder in the choice of

                        2. a. to misunderstand the meaning or intention of

                            b. to make a wrong judgement of the character or ability of

                        3. to identify wrongly: confuse with another

Love: noun. 1. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties

                  2. attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers

                  3. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests

                  4. warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion

                  5. a. unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: the fatherly concern of God for                

                          humankind; brotherly concern for others

                      b. a person's adoration of God

                  6. a god or personification of love

                  7. an amorous episode

                  8. the sexual embrace

                  9. a score of zero (as in tennis)

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary

On this day of your life, Olivia, I believe God wants you to know...

...that your inner goodness is going to carry the day.

I know that you know what a good person you are.

Yes, we all make mistakes, but when everything is said

and done, you are a genuinely good person...and you

know it.

So here's what you should be told: God knows it, too.

Trust that your inner goodness will rule this moment...

Love, Your Friend....

I am a huge fan of Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations with God series. I would recommend his books to anyone who considers themselves to believe in something bigger and more divine than us. And even if you don't, it's an interesting read. Personally, I do not consider myself to be a religious person. I prefer to learn from different faiths and choose the little pieces to believe that truly resonate with my inner being. I consider myself to be spiritual. Every day, I receive inspiring words from Mr. Walsch via email that always put a smile on my face and give me strength in the truths they hold. Some days I get tears because the words fit my current day, emotions, and experiences. Today has been one of those days.

I just read the quote from above. I am a forgetful person and I consistently become frustrated and angry with myself because of it. I also make mistakes, poor decisions, and struggle with never knowing if what I'm doing really matters in this wide world. For this reason, these words soothed all of this perpetual anxiety and fear leaving me feeling full of faith and comfort. What a wonderful change. The power of words is a beautiful thing and definitely an important component of my spirituality. 

One of the most important things I have ever learned is the necessity of having inspiring people to look up to in life and draw support from. I am blessed to have many of these people. My entire family is inspiring to me in different ways. My friends are all incredible people who I would be lost without. I truly believe you can find inspiration and lessons in any person in the world or any interaction with plants, animals, or rocks! Because the only thing that matters is what reality, what truths you want to create for yourself. Never forget that no matter who or what you find love or strength in, you are still your own person. You are in charge of your own life. You create your experiences, what they are or aren't, with the choices you make every day. Do not take this lightly. Embrace your choices, whether you feel they are wise or foolish, learn from them, and make change how you see fit. 

That being said, one of the women I look up to most whom I have never met is Brene Brown. I was first introduced to her incredible, amazing, inspired work by my counselor this spring. And I watch her TedTalks frequently. I think she is wise and strong. I feel that her work embodies many of my own truths, thoughts, beliefs, and moments. I would encourage you to listen to her talks if you wish: The Power of Vulnerability and Listening to Shame. Her words are beautiful and I love the way she delivers her stories. 

Last night I had a wonderful dream in which I experienced that 'good butterflies in your stomach overwhelming feeling' more intensely than I ever had before. It felt better than anything I have experienced in a long while. Pure euphoria. And it all took place in a dream, in my subconscious. I believe that the dreams we have while we sleep are bigger than we will ever know. I believe that often they are manifestations of what deep down we know we need, but are not willing to give ourselves or think we do not deserve in our waking hours. Forgiveness, joy, love, inspiration. These are what dreams are made of, both our waking, conscious and our sleeping, subconscious dreams. Dreams are important to me because often all I can recall when I wake from a dream is how I felt in the dream, the emotions I experienced. When we are awake, emotions are triggered by our thoughts, the things we see, and how we interpret it all inside our brains. Almost completely influenced by our surroundings and processed in our own way. When I am in a dream, all of these things are inside me, created by me. The emotions I feel in a dream evolve inside of me similarly to how waking emotions evolve and yet, they are somehow inexplicably different. I can't remember all of the physical details, but the emotions, how I felt throughout the dream, are the strongest pieces that linger with me when I open my eyes to 'the real world'. I experience raw emotions not tied to anything I have seen, heard, or thought. I find that inspiring. It makes me believe that everything you have heard is, in fact, true about creating your own reality and feeling the way you want whenever you want.

So today, I am feeling courageous, I have faith and dreams, and I am experiencing and radiating love. I am sharing forgiveness and acceptance with myself and others. All because I choose to. It feels incredible. 

To quote Jude in the fantastic film Across the Universe, "Well, surely it's not what you do, but the, uh... the way that you do it." I, you, everyone, deep down at their core, is a good person no matter what and I know it. And that feels powerful.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

-Nelson Mandela

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

-Mother Teresa

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.

-Henry David Thoreau

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out.    

-Stephen King

Before the throne of the Almighty, man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions. For God alone reads our hearts.

-Mahatma Gandhi 

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.

-Oscar Wilde

                                          Aspen resting on changing leaves. City Creek Trail, Pocatello, ID 10/4/13

Listen to Sarah Jarosz sing Bob Dylan's 'Simple Twist of Fate'.

Thanks,

LivE.

On Hangovers (and how to embrace that floppy carrot experience..)

Tequila makes me take my clothes off. It's true and I hate it. Because I love tequila. But tequila does not love me. In fact, it has a die hard lifelong ultra serious vendetta against me. I don't know what I ever did to make it hate me so much, but it does.

Last night I only anticipated having one beer with my girlfriend at a cool little bar in town. That is not what I did. We got DRUNK. Four shots of tequila later and I was flirting with anything that had a face and apparently thought smoking a cigarette would be a good idea. It wasn't. But, what the hell. YOLO, right?

Needless to say I woke up with an enormous headache despite the darkness beneath my covers. Emerging from my bed was like a butterfly exiting its cocoon except it hurt like hell and I couldn't fly afterward. After taking a 40 minute shower, brushing my teeth 60 times, and scrubbing every last inch of myself over and over, I ate cold bacon.

To the Pocatello Community Food Co-op I drove to volunteer my pressure washer skills for a couple hours. This was awesome. I listened to Lana Del Rey sing it out while wreaking havoc on them paint chips. Then I bought three pairs of Mountain Hardware shorts for $18. Right??

Food. Goody's. Pizza bomb. Sausage. Cheetos. WATER.

Here's the best part of the story. Once I got over the fact that I was hung over and I was going to be hung over all day, it was actually kind of fun to be hung over. Every moment became strikingly beautiful or exceedingly touching. It was weird. But awesome. A man playing basketball with his son, people riding bikes, high schoolers hanging out by their cars, a smile from a stranger all became monumental occasions that received a dorky "awww" from me.

So as I was driving home in the sunshine after having spent $80 on trekking poles, bite indicators, X-mas presents, and Aquaseal at Ace Hardware I had this epiphany. No matter where you are or what's happening, your ability to deal with the situation becomes incredibly more simple if you first take the time to accept what is happening and pull in a breath.

It's amazing. Trust me. Embrace your floppy carrotness and you will land amongst the stars!

Listen and watch Lana Del Rey sing National Anthem. 

Simple Elegance

Photo: Taken on City Creek trail near Kinport Peak in June 2013 with a Sony NEX-5N digital camera. 

Sego lily
Calochortus nuttallii

The Sego lily is a wildflower native to the Rocky Mountain west. It can be found on dry, well drained soils in Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Colorado, North and South Dakota, and Nebraska. The Sego lily grows in full sun from a bulb reminiscent of a small wild onion. The flowers display white petals with mustard yellow and scarlet red markings in the center. They grow 10-20 inches tall with unbranched stems.

The Ute indians referred to it as "sago" and instructed Mormon settlers to eat the bulbs when food was scarce. In 1911, the Sego lily was approved as the state flower of Utah after suggestion by a statewide poll of school children.

This flower has become one of my favorites over the past few months. It is not overly showy and you often have to search between sagebrush, lupines, and paintbrush to spot the inconspicuous, elegant white petals. And when I do find one or a small community, I feel soothed at the simple sight of this simply beautiful flower.


Sources:

http://pioneer.utah.gov/research/utah_symbols/flower.html
http://www.wildflower.org/plants/result.php?id_plant=CANU3

Again

A-gain

adverb

1. once more; another time; anew; in addition: Will you spell your name again, please?

2. in an additional case or instance; moreover; besides; furthermore.

3. on the other hand: It might happen, and again it might not.

4. back; in return; in reply: to answer again.

5. to the same place or person: to return again.

(dictionary.com)

Listen to Dancing Again by Forest Sun:

http://www.rhapsody.com/artist/forest-sun/album/dancing-again/track/dancing-again

     

I graduate from college in one month and one week.

Photos are easier than words right now.

And then I fell in love....

With AK!!!

A mural in the gallery I visited.                                     The Seward harbor, Resurrection Bay.

       

My 2 favorite things: 

Yarrow and Salmon.

It's going to be hard to express how amazing this trip has been already using words... but I shall try, just for you. On Friday, I went on a solo excursion around Anchorage via bicycle to run some errands. I obtained a memory card adapter so I can now upload pictures (hooray!) and some paints so I can work on the interpretive signs for my internship with NSEA. Between these two stops, I biked down the Campbell Creek Greenway where I saw some salmon, several fry and what I thought to be an adult Coho, or Silver as they call them in AK. It was so fun to hang out by the creek and observe these amazing creatures in action and admire the surprisingly intact habitat they were thriving in in such a large city. I snapped some photos (posted on the Facebook) and then decided to continue on my journey. When I got home, Syd and I packed for the weekend and the whole fam damily loaded into the car to drive to Seward (or Sewage, as Alaskans affectionally refer to the small fishing town). 

The drive was gorgeous. Driving down the Seward highway we encountered rain, clouds, interesting rock formations, green green wetlands, steep glacially carved slopes, birds, lakes, rivers, and that 'road' feeling. Two lane highways instill this unique sense of going somewhere unknown and special. I like it. We got in pretty late; we were all tired. I proceeded to pass out awkwardly first in Sydney's parents' Bed and Breakfast room then in Lindsay and Brandon's camper... even baby Sienna managed to stay awake longer than me! 

After a night in the camper with Sienna, Cooper (the pooch), Lindsay, and Brandon, we all woke up early to wish Sydney and Lindsay good luck on their 16 mile race to Lost Lake just outside Seward. 500 people ran the race. Lindsay and Sydney kicked ass of course.

While they partook in this form of extreme exercise and competition I went to breakfast at an awesome little refurbished bus right on the harbor with Sydney's folks, Patty and Peter, Brandon's folks, Jim and Sherene, Brandon, Colby, Brandon's friend, and baby Sienna. I ate an ENTIRE breakfast burrito which was freakin' delish. It was super fun watching the baby, feeling the sun heat up, and being around some really great people. 

     Chacos, mountains, water.    :  )

The awesome diner we ate brekkie at.                                                                                          Baby Sienna. Finally smiling!

After feasting all morning with coffee in my belly, I was ready to hit the water! Peter, Jim, and I picked up Jim's boat and after purchasing a new battery (as the old one mysteriously died...) and fueling up, we set out for a day of fishing! And what a spectacular day it was. Apparently, it is NEVER sunny in Seward. So, I got lucky I guess. It was a perfect day. Almost too perfect... The fish did not bite. If we were hungry, we would have starved because we didn't catch a single fish. Well, actually, Peter caught one small Silver (Coho), but he threw it back. He was so little he didn't deserve to be eaten! Brandon and Colby joined us after meeting the girls at the finish line where there was free beer and burgers- best way to end a long race. They brought a warm beer for each of us and we motored out to Fox Island to try our luck there. Alas, still no bites. Brandon had some cigars which made our luck seem less dismal. Then we headed out to Bear Glacier where we saw a wide variety of different birds! Juevenile and adult bald eagles, puffins, gulls, and cormorants. The glacier was amazing. I love glaciers- so mysterious, yet immense and obvious. Luckily, we experienced redemption, where we caught ourselves an iceberg! We deposited it in the cooler and took it back to impress the ladies.. After this excursion we headed back close to the docks where Fish and Game had reported good fishing the day before. Again, no bites, but lots of jumpers! The bitches didn't fall for our trap. We called it a day at 5:30 pm after being out on the water for over 5 hours in the sun. My theory, is that the fish don't bite when it's sunny because they get confused (or they can see what we are trying to do to them). 

We met up with Patty, Sherene, and Sydney outside the breakfast diner and headed back to the Bed and Breakfast, a beautiful place in the woods on the outskirts of Seward. It is so beautiful, the perfect setting. We ate dinner at The Salmon Bake, a restaurant just up the road. They have a sign outside that says "Cheap Beer, Lousy Food". And indeed, they delivered. I had Red Snapper and chips with coleslaw and an IPA. Full belly and happy heart put me to bed early.

Cool old barn with Fireweed.

Sunday morning, we woke up and drove into town to get coffee at The Sea Bean! :) Sydney's mom kept calling it the See-A-Bean despite our insisting that it was just The Sea Bean. The day was cloudy and rainy, a typical day in Seward. It was nice. I liked it. I bet the fish were biting that day.... We packed our things and got ready to hit the road back to Anchorage. While Patty and Peter chatted with their friend and owner of the Bed and Breakfast, Syd and I went on a walk down to the creek to see the salmon!

         

Devil's Club, Syd's favorite plant.

I was so excited at first, we scared them up and down stream. Slowly, they returned to our perch on a small bridge. A total of about 10 Sockeye, or Red in Ak speak, Salmon all clearly in spawn mode acting territorial. It was so cool! One of the most interesting and amazing experiences of my life. I can't even tell you how stoked I was. 

Salmon and yarrow love.

Coming closer..

The crew.

After being awed by these fascinating creatures, we loaded in the car to head back to Anchorage. We stopped in Girdwood at The Bake Shop at the base of Alyeska Ski Resort for some food. We all got the buffalo split pea soup which was amazing! Yum. The bake shop was super cute, plus they had awesome telemark posters in their bathroom.

Provocative telemarking. I love it.

Upon returning to Anchorage, Sydney and I went on a mission to Title Wave bookstore. This is perhaps the most amazing used bookstore I have ever been to! It is like a book co op where you can bring in old books and get credit for them so that when you want new books they are essentially free. It is amazing. And super cheap. I walked out with about 10 new interesting titles all for $40. Can't beat that. That evening, we made pizza (sooo good!) and wild Alaskan blueberry, driveway raspberry, backyard rhubarb, homegrown strawberry jam. Here are the highlights.

Let's try not to screw this up.

                                Jars.                                                                        Stir it up sista.

<<Seductive Jam.

                                         
     Mashin'.                                                                                                                                                               "I am Julia Child."

Jar Grabber 5000.                                                                                                                                              Jar Grabber in action.

  Our finished product: 

Blue Footed Booby Jam.

(aka- Blooby Jammy, Bloob Jammies, Bloob Jambeezy, etc...)

Today I am heading into downtown Anchorage via bike to run a couple errands and then bike along the coastal trail! Until next time, happy exploring busy bumblebees!

Thanks for readin'!

ONE

On the first day..

Alaska, The Last Frontier

http://www.top-photogalleries.com/photos/photogallery/Alaska_State,_Physical_Map,_USA./162/162/1472/0/Yes.html

My first Alaskan adventure began Wednesday, August 22, 2012 when I boarded the Amtrak in Bellingham. This was my first time riding a train farther than in and around downtown Chicago. It made me want to travel more often by train. I saw four great blue herons flying across the sparkling water as the sun dipped behind the islands. It was perfect to say the least. My lovely new roommate, Nicole, kindly picked me up at the station in Edmonds. We slept for about four hours and then she drove me to the airport at 4 am! What a trooper. I love you Nicole! It is a good thing we are both morning people. Although she did tell me to bring I had to bring her some gold from Alaska or else.. ;)

The flight from Seattle to Anchorage was uneventful, on time, and BEAUTIFUL. Holy cats. There were many interesting and different clouds along the way. I got glimpses of the fjords of British Columbia and some towering white castles as we approached The Last Frontier. I landed in Anchorage a bit early and made myself a comfy seat outside the baggage claim out of my crap ton of stuff! I felt silly carrying so much stuff with me to Alaska, but I have to have my backpacking and climbing gear.

Sydney picked me up in "The Eddie" (a hilarious SUV she is borrowing for the summer. It is named such because it is the "Eddie Bauer Edition".. whatever that means). Breathing the cool, rainy Alaskan air and seeing my very first friend at Western, I felt at home. I know, I know. I am not an Alaskan and I don't claim to be. But it is certainly nice when you arrive to a new place and feel welcomed, comfortable, and happy. Besides, isn't that what home is all about?

Sydney had to go to work, so I decided to roam solo around downtown Anchorage. She works in super fancy glass building only surpassed in height by the Conoco Phillips building a block away. Anchorage is a cool city! They grow artichokes in their sidewalk planters and in their parks accompanied by a wide array of colorful flowers! I wandered around and got some souvenir shopping done. Kaladi Brothers coffee was a nice late morning place to enjoy a latte then I met Syd for lunch in the bottom floor of her fancy building for some bomb soup and salad. After lunch, I stumbled upon the Alaska Native Arts Foundation gallery. Wow! The pieces there were amazing and I chatted with the two men working there about my camera after snapping some sweet shots of the cedar woven and birch bark baskets, masks, statues, and drums. This was my favorite stop of the day. 

My next favorite stop was the visitor center adjacent to the Center for Performing Arts. Before stopping in the log cabin (so cute!) I talked with Mr. Gene Ferguson, a local photographer who sold me a set of his film photographs. He thinks that digital takes a lot of the art out of photography and has been taking photos for "a long time". He was such a nice old man and reminded me of my Pop-Pop. He even gave me his phone number! Score. Inside the log cabin of the visitors center, I looked through an old book about the construction and logistics behind the Exxon Valdez pipeline. It was very interesting. I love looking at old photos and artifacts. In the main visitor center, I met a girl who is attending WWU next year! It was fun to talk about how great Western and Bellingham are and sense the same excitement in her that I was feeling at this time three years ago. How time flies when you are having fun!

Sydney and I drove back to her house where we changed and prepared a salad for family dinner at Brandon's (her sister, Lindsay's, husband's) parents' house. I got to meet Sienna, Lindsay's 2 month old baby! Oh my. So funny. Her head is far too heavy for her to handle so she does this adorable head bob thing. She is so awkward! I loved it. Flailing limbs and looks of exasperation, confusion, and sometimes joy. Brandon's dad, Jim, deep fried fresh halibut for dinner! Too yummy! Then we played Liar's Dice and Lucky Bastard complete with mother-daughter, husband-wife, sister-brother, and best friend rivalries! I went home tired, my belly stuffed, and my eyes full of laughter. 

I got a full night of sleep last night for the first time in too long! Today I am going to do some exploring and errand running with Sydney's bicycle which should be interesting.. At 6 pm we are driving to Seward! Oh boy, I cannot tell you how excited I am for this weekend. I get to go out fishing on the bay with the boys and maybe catch me my first ever salmon! You can just imagine my out of control excitement for yourself. 

I will update again after this weekend when I should have a new camera cord. Why do important things always run away from me when I need them most? 

Sending all of you all my love from Alaska! Thanks for reading, and send me good salmon vibes this weekend. 

PS- Check out this website for some super duper awesome Alaska factoids!!!

http://www.alaskasbest.com/facts.htm